Hey-Thar: Random Updates on Life

I cannot remember the last time I posted something in here, it's been awhile. My birthday party was fun, I hope that everyone had a good time, and that no one was mad that I got kidnapped or slept in other room. Sorry.

Anyhow, I hate Sunday's they are so depressing. They have depressed me for as long as I can remember. Like I have said before I think it stems from being the child of a divorce. Regardless of the origin I hate feeling sad for the whole of Sunday. I always feel a little lonely, a little, sorry, and very sad on Sundays. I think it is when I do most of my thinking...like the one day when I sit back and take a look at my life. I do not like to do anything on Sunday, and if I do, I like to be home by 6. I sit here, especially now and get depressed about my life. Don't get me wrong, I am having a blast. But today is the day when all the frustration, guilt, and stress catch up to me and I question my decisions. This is the day when I seriously wonder if I could go away. Just pack some things and leave for a few days. I'm not sure where I would go, or what I would do, but I would like to think wherever that place is, it is peaceful. Someplace where I can just stop thinking and just be there. I feel bad about wanting to leave but it would be so nice. I wish someone would come and take me away from everything that makes up my life right now. I could forget about school, work, even my family (I know how bad that sounds) and just be...something different.

I get so angry at times that I want to scream. Maybe it is more out of frustration than anger. I know others have far worse problems than I do, which is probably a part of what keeps me sane here, but sometimes I forget and feel frustrated that this is my life. Its depressing to think you did 3+ years of work for what...? Im working my ass off, with no one to appreciate it but me. And then some people have the nerve to make comments about me leaving on the weekends. You know why I leave? Because sometimes I need to pretend that I am normal too. I made a choice and I live with it every single day. But I don't just get to fucking leave for 10 months and be a "regular" kid. Besides even if I had the opportunity, I wouldn't be able to do it. I guess that is my problem though...some day this will get easier...

I am a huge dork I know it but I am counting down the days(26) until the 7th Harry Potter book comes out. I have so many questions and I hope they will all be answered. I also hope the the book doesn't leave us hanging and has a satisfactory (atleast but I would prefer awesome, then again it can't be that great because it is the end).

I know all of you already are decided about Snape but I am really not. I hate him so I want him to be evil but I could understand if he wasn't as well. I am not sure the book will be as good if Hogwarts doesn't reopen. I would be very sad if it didn't but I am almost positive that it will, even if Harry, Ron and Hermione aren't there. Although that would be weird. They HAVE to go back, thats what I want anyway. I would be mad if they didn't. I love Dumbledore but I hope JK doesn't pull a LOTR and make him come back from the dead UNLESS he never really died and Snape is really some savior. I will still hate him though because is is a dick. If you all remember correctly it is his fault that Voldemort even heard the prophecy about he and Harry in the first place. Snape was listening at the door when Professor Trelawny said the prophecy to Dumbledore. I also hope that Harry doesn't die, but I think he might. Eh I guess I'm on the fence about that one too. I hope Malfoy dies though hes a little bitch. I think Voldemort might kill him because he didn't kill Dumbledore... Anyway I can't wait until the book comes out.

JOEseph! That was funny. Erika is hot! Oh yes lets make a HIGHkoo.

Once Upon a Time
Erika will divorces
Stephanie for being gays.

Check it bitches, cunts.

I am the Hiaku queen!

Stephanie is not right.

I backed over or rather into Erika's crotch and it was hilariously amazing, needless to say she was deflowered by office furniture. Apparently she got a little teewzing as well.

Her nameless crotch is wounded. HAHAHAHAHAHAH. Someone may want to grab up that feminist book title while its hot. I know Phil Collins' people.

I LOVE ERICAS POPPA, I dont have one anymore :(

Chase was born dead.




This tickles me everytime.


Oh yes another side note I WANT Mark Wahlberg ( I dont are how to spell his name only that he stays sexy until I one day meet him and have a rondezvous with him in a condo on the beach (not actually in the sand because I dont want sand where the sun doesnt shine)oh the pleasures). Everyone should see shooter, not for its amazing plot (it was okay) but just to see his sexiness.

We went and met Zoey today, we are going to adopt her she is fat and fluffy and has ice blue eyes, shes spunky and I love her. Who am I kidding I love all dogs and I knew if we looked at more I would want to get them as well. We just don't have enough room to rescue more than maybe possibly two. Anyways sometime next week we will have a new addition to our home and everyone should come pet her fat belly, she loves that.

I sent out my application yesterday, I guess we'll see. I'm not sure I can get in.

Alex still hasn't found out when he can leave for basic training, he was supposed to find out Tuesday. I really want to know.

This weekend should be pretty fun, Hedwig LIVE thats pretty amazing, maybe us girls should dress up again like we did in high school, sadly I think I got rid of the purple sequined ass crack pants. I do still have the red glitter lipstick though. I hope that Learned's friend is gay so that he can be mine and erica's friend. Next time we go out it should be to Spiral so we can shop for a gay friend. I am in desperate need. Anyway so that will be fun. Then saturday me and my momario are getting mani's and pedi's thank god. My nails look like shit and its flip-flop weather. Then sunday my mom and I are headed up to Birch Run to do some retail therapy after we both had hellish weeks, (fucking C-U-Next-Tuesday from LCC I hate that shit hole). Good times.

We need to go to Canada soon, I love Woody's with no drama. Let me know.

This weekend might mean big things, I guess we'll wait and see...


I had fun at the movies with Erica and her friends! Everyone should see Night at the Museum because it was very funny, pay attention for that Brokeback Mountain reference. The bar was also fun except for the bitchy waitress. Im glad we got to hang out Erica. Tell your friends thanks for putting up the the "DD" lol.

Last night Alex and I had a date night which was awesome, we hung out and then went to the movies again where I saw Night at the Museum again and it was still great. Alex liked it too and we had a nice heart to heart on the way home. He is pretty amazing.

I hate it when people post bulletins on myspace just to beg for comments, if you have to beg obviously no one feels bad for you, Im starting to think she deserved what she got.

Im also irritated by negativity, I am a happy person most of the time I still like boy bands and their cheesey music, I like pink, makeup, and getting my hair done.

I dont like to pay $30 just for myself to eat.

I dont like that bitch at the nail salon to do a half assed job and try to cover it up.

I dont like not being 21.

My grandma is driving me nuts and I hate that I feel guilty about it.

I hate that I feel guilty about other feels too.

No I dont want to talk about it, sometimes I just feel like writing it down.

So I had some pretty weird dreams last night:

Dream 1:

I was at this public place Im not sure where and I was trying to find the bathroom. I finally found one and this creepy older guy about 40ish and really scary gives me this look as Im walking in and for some reason I knew that look meant that he wanted to rape me. So I go into the bathroom and it was this huge guys and girls bathroom with some stalls that didn't have toilets and I ask this one guy to go in with me because Im scared and then I dont know what happened. But after that I was outside running and trying to scream, but I couldn't scream loud, for help because the raper was chasing me and it was scary.

Dream 2:

Erica is getting married in this one and I am the maid of honor. Apparently her parents decided that because her dad is from Hungary she should have an arranged marriage. Turns out that the guy is Rob Reader, don't as me why. But anyway Im mad because she doesn't even know him and Im like marry someone you love but Erica and Rob are all excited and Im freaking out because I know she won't be happy. So because Im the maid of honor I have to wear a dress a little different from everyone else and it was UGLY. It was black with flowers all over it and really really low cut and it was just bad. Thats all I remember.

What does that mean!?

Dont forget about our party on the 15th at 9 pm.

A Soldier's Silent Night

TWAS THE NIGHT BEFORE CHRISTMAS, HE LIVED ALL ALONE,

IN A ONE BEDROOM HOUSE MADE OF PLASTER AND STONE.

I HAD COME DOWN THE CHIMNEY WITH PRESENTS TO GIVE,

AND TO SEE JUST WHO IN THIS HOME DID LIVE.

I LOOKED ALL ABOUT, A STRANGE SIGHT I DID SEE,

NO TINSEL, NO PRESENTS, NOT EVEN A TREE.

NO STOCKING BY MANTLE, JUST BOOTS FILLED WITH SAND,

ON THE WALL HUNG PICTURES OF FAR DISTANT LANDS.

WITH MEDALS AND BADGES, AWARDS OF ALL KINDS,

A SOBER THOUGHT CAME THROUGH MY MIND.

FOR THIS HOUSE WAS DIFFERENT, IT WAS DARK AND DREARY,

I FOUND THE HOME OF A SOLDIER, ONCE I COULD SEE CLEARLY.

THE SOLDIER LAY SLEEPING, SILENT, ALONE,

CURLED UP ON THE FLOOR IN THIS ONE BEDROOM HOME.

THE FACE WAS SO GENTLE, THE ROOM IN SUCH DISORDER,

NOT HOW I PICTURED A UNITED STATES SOLDIER.

WAS THIS THE HERO OF WHOM I'D JUST READ?

CURLED UP ON A PONCHO, THE FLOOR FOR A BED?

I REALIZED THE FAMILIES THAT I SAW THIS NIGHT,

OWED THEIR LIVES TO THESE SOLDIERS WHO WERE WILLING TO FIGHT.

SOON ROUND THE WORLD, THE CHILDREN WOULD PLAY,

AND GROWNUPS WOULD CELEBRATE A BRIGHT CHRISTMAS DAY.

THEY ALL ENJOYED FREEDOM EACH MONTH OF THE YEAR,

BECAUSE OF THE SOLDIERS, LIKE THE ONE LYING HERE.

I COULDN'T HELP WONDER HOW MANY LAY ALONE,

ON A COLD CHRISTMAS EVE IN A LAND FAR FROM HOME.

THE VERY THOUGHT BROUGHT A TEAR TO MY EYE,

I DROPPED TO MY KNEES AND STARTED TO CRY;

THE SOLDIER AWAKENED AND I HEARD A ROUGH VOICE,

"SANTA DON'T CRY, THIS LIFE IS MY CHOICE;

I FIGHT FOR FREEDOM, I DON'T ASK FOR MORE,

MY LIFE IS MY GOD, MY COUNTRY, MY CORPS."

THE SOLDIER ROLLED OVER AND DRIFTED TO SLEEP,

I COULDN'T CONTROL IT, I CONTINUED TO WEEP.

I KEPT WATCH FOR HOURS, SO SILENT AND STILL

AND WE BOTH SHIVERED FROM THE COLD NIGHT'S CHILL.

I DIDN'T WANT TO LEAVE ON THAT COLD, DARK, NIGHT,

THIS GUARDIAN OF HONOR SO WILLING TO FIGHT.

THEN THE SOLDIER ROLLED OVER, WITH A VOICE SOFT AND PURE,

WHISPERED, "CARRY ON SANTA, IT'S CHRISTMAS DAY, ALL IS SECURE."

ONE LOOK AT MY WATCH, AND I KNEW HE WAS RIGHT.

"MERRY CHRISTMAS MY FRIEND, AND TO ALL A GOOD NIGHT."